the storm

it's still outside my house, the rains have since ceased
but there's still a storm raging in my chest, I can feel those gale force winds

I tell you the clouds are overhead and to stay inside (and just be safe) for now
and I wonder if the same storm that's hailing in my heart, is howling in yours too

the sky lights up like fire in the sky and it's the calm before the storm
patience, my child, for soon this will all pass, but you say there never was a storm at all.

there never was a storm at all?
then why am I soaked to the bone?

sometimes i wish the concept of an 'ending' didn't exist

I don't know why we have to play these games, when everything is so cut and dry
why do we have to make it so difficult, to bring love into our lives

I suppose it's hard to do, when we don't know the truth

we hold each other close to fight the night, but still pray the sun just won't come up
this night just shouldn't end, cause if it does it won't begin again.

we have to face the facts, and with that I just cant' relax
cause I can't help but think this must be where it ends, my god I hope it won't end

you can get in your car and drive but it's not going to be better

life's not always what you want or what you need
but you've got to make the best of it, while it's still here

we just can't dwell on the past, cause that part is done
if we keep our minds back there, we're gonna miss what's right out there

we know exactly what we want but we can't have
we're so predictable and we're all just a fucking mess right now

meetings and kings

I try to break into your mind, you broke hard into mine, we both don't see so clearly now, I hope you'll find me when you do

I'll be closer than you think, you'll be further than I thought, but we all know there's always a distance to travel, we'll cover that ground one day.

somewhere between meetings and kings we'll find ourselves together in the rain, we'll know, we'll know.

the last five or six blogs are old and new. some will become songs, some will not. some of them are how I feel now, some of them have feelings that have passed. it's not important which ones are which.

lover assisted suicide

you've killed me. thats it, so simple, I'm dead. my heart has stopped beating, it doesn't see the point. and it devastates me to think I won't recover from this any time soon. I seek peace in my sleep but only find nightmare, I replace your memory with possessions and infatuation, but nothing can really replace what I hope for. where is peace? where is solace? i'll find them eventually, but it's really all too late. this pain won't subside, I can't get used to this, and I'm tired of pretending it's not there.

carpedium

i'm taking life by the reigns, i'm not gonna keep looking back at the past and it's regrets and failures, i'll look straight ahead and only see that that is now. and I won't fret about tomorrow cause tomorrow's worrying about itself, each day is enough trouble in itself. i've begun my carpe-dium lifestyle, i'm taking advice from philosophers from years passed, they knew better than I do about taking things one step at a time, and they've taught me to watch the steps i'm taking not those I took or those too far ahead of me. I won't let regret smile upon me anymore, if it's done it's done and I won't change that anytime soon.